I have recently been thinking about life. What is really important and what is a waste. What life is supposed to be about and why adding 'supposed' to it ruins the whole idea of life itself. Why is it that people in general seem to turn their noses to other people who seem to have more fun? Why is happiness just so difficult to find? Is it because people are trying to reach for things that are so hard to achieve or because they are not trying hard enough to achieve them.
I guess I am just afraid that I will get trampled on by people better guided than me. Or are they just as afraid as I am? Some times, I wish I could just find some one to answer my questions. But then again, I am sure most of the answers would only make me more scared. So, is too much knowledge really that bad for you? I mean being clever is great, but if that means you are a bit of a nut case, with hardly any friends and only be 'allowed' to see your family for an hour a week and be surrounded by a padded room the rest of the time. Is that what life is?
Or do you just not care apart from the bloody immigrants taking up jobs that even you don't bother to do? Not bothering to study hard, or work hard in life. Just floating around, with either children or cats that you can't even afford to feed. Not realising that you are so lucky that you get free health care and have a working fridge, which is more than most people in the world will ever get. Is that what life is?
I think I may be rather ill exposed to life or just the lives of others. I don't think I get to see good life in England because every one is so god damn privileged. I think the best place I saw real potential of what life can be is when I lived in India. Although saying that, both examples were of selfish groups of people. I know enough people who 'care' but they care because it makes them feel good for caring, which again is selfish. As though caring will earn them brownie points to heaven or good karma.
In other news, all my plants have died or are in the process of dying. It was the Aphids! I tried everything I could but they didn't make it. I guess I feel like I let them down. I have been feeling heart broken since they started going yellow :( :( :( Saying that, I have been thinking of getting a tree, although not sure if a tree will be happy inside an apartment. I have high ceilings... could try a fake tree, would love to see the aphids trying to munch on that!
OoOoOh, I sold a painting!!! One of the ones I finished during the last post. Picture will follow soon enough.
Until next time,
It's your lovely host,