I've been trying to write this post for a while now. I've had thoughts on writing non-political posts for a while but of late I have been finding it difficult to express my feelings and thoughts. Today, I am in grumpy cat-esque mood so please do excuse the attitude and some swearing.
I read self-help type posts on The Guardian, Buzzfeed, Howto etc, mainly about how to be successful, articles by successful people, how to go to sleep, how to overcome depression, you get the idea. Most of them are pretty useless. Apart from the one I read in The Guardian by a doctor that said that having no rituals before going to sleep is the best way forward (I wasn't enjoying hot milk with turmeric all that much). But with social media's expansion everyone thinks that they have the best advice about pretty much everything. There are people out there who have made their fortunes by writing self-help books and columns, for me none of them provide the answers to my questions. I've found that only the individual can provide the right answers for themselves. And the advice from these successful people can only apply to them. I hate it when people share the 'Work Hard' memes on their facebook. What a load of bullshit. Social mobility is non existent in this country, working hard alone won't get you anywhere is the grand scheme of things.
The thing about self-help books/ columns or advice is that a lot of the time unless you experience something, reading about it won't teach you any lessons. No matter how much advice someone gives you, you won't arrive at the lesson unless you go through the pain or difficulty first hand. Although saying that would make many of my non-political posts worthless. Having said that, I try to keep it to what I've learnt, rather than push my advice down your throat. And perhaps we are all meant to suffer a little, or maybe even a lot, how else can we learn the price of happiness and truly appreciate something beautiful?
In earlier posts, you may have seen that I was feeling low about a few people on my course making negative comments about me loudly and how it had got me down. Well, I have to say that I am now at the other end of it. A lecturer and a few peers helped me to finally arrive at a conclusion. I was told before by lots of people to ignore it but I had to get to that moment alone and I have. I don't care about what they say anymore. It really does feel like a cloud has been lifted. I understand now that I let them make me feel crap but I won't anymore. I have the power and I won't let them take it from me. Although I think it's so simple now, it wasn't for a long time.
This week has been rather tough for me. Apart from being in much pain, I have had some sad news. A close family friend passed away, and today Sir Terry Pratchett did too. I am now at an age where a lot of family members and people I grew up knowing of are passing away, and it isn't becoming easy. Of course everyone dies and I know that but the pain is still always fresh and the wounds always new.
Until next time,
Sen x
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